“Mobile phone tumours are far more likely in the city.” “Well, you know, so is everything else. Including sex, coffee and conversation.”

Yes, I'll get you something from there. Leave me a comment :)

*smiles*

A week in London. Together with a lovely person.

Fuck, yeah!

Yours,

Secrets

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Sticks and stones may break my bones

Now. Long time no read. I am not even sure if anyone will check this. Anyways. As always, a prelude of some kind to introduce my blog postings.

I am overworked.
At the same time it is strangely comforting to think about all the possibilities that some pieces of paper and coined metal discs have to offer.

I want to see the sea again. I miss it so much. I want to stand at a beach, barefoot, inhale the breeze and just gaze upon the waterfront.
I want to be held. At least sometimes. Nothing sexual, really – just the comfort of another human being close to me.
I want to scream away my sadness, drink away my loneliness, forget about mortality, child birth, family and that strange little demon inside of me that apparently hates me.
I want to have a healthy sleep rhythm and _not_ feel bored by the sheer thought of normality. I want to be myself and somehow still cannot fully relate to that seemingly awesome person that some of my friends describe. I just can’t.

Loneliness creeps up on you. Yet somehow there’s a new pattern. That new pattern involves less sex. Not an ideal solution – but it cuts down the awful experiences too. So, maybe a good thing.

No. Not really. Also, given the POOR quality of porn around, I am living quite the chaste life at the moment.

When the demons ride me too hard, I flee my four walls and go out. It’s fun, sometimes, and on very relaxed evenings great things do happen, yes.

But I’d really like a big, over-dimensionally square body guard sometimes to keep the waves of idiots at bay that seem oh so interested in sharing their sweaty, alcohol-infused and insecure little pick-up lines with me. PLEASE, UNIVERSE!  Please.

I will get a corset this week. I am not able to eat chocolate pudding without thinking of quality sex, it’s not about that, and you know it, the self-loathing seems to be strong lately and in general nobody really has to get this sentence.

I am happy about good friends. Sometimes they are lifelines without even knowing it.

I miss the sea. But I said that already.

Please enjoy my randomness. It needed to be done.

Yours truly,

Secrets

You hurt my bunny*

Thought about my online persona. Secrets doesn’t equal Lea doesn’t equal Leonora doesn’t equal Liebes doesn’t equal leetscha. Still, it’s all a part of me. I like how we can diversify ourselves today and love to play the game, I truly do.

Leonora turned 30 last week. Secrets is ageless. My personal little nameless me doesn’t really care. The fact that I don’t want to fall in love (let me just have this illusion for the next few sentences, please…) hasn’t stopped others to do so. *sigh*
How do you tell someone that his heart will shortly be broken? How do you get a message like “But I don’t” across without hurting the other?

A friend of mine had a great point during one of our recent talks: No one took care of our hearts when they broke them.

Well then. Let’s stick to honesty. DON’T PANIC.

I love you all, but not like that. And it’s not that I don’t miss decent tongue-kissing.

Appreciate your hearts. I do.

Secrets

*now that’s a search term to find me here.

Fuck off, suckers!

Dearest readership,

it is finally over.
Today I have paid all the major debts in my life (a HUGE thank you to mtcx for all his loving (monetary) support!), poured myself a big cup of steaming hot coffee and quite generally enjoyed life when I received the following message:


My day is slowly but surely filling up with win.

 

Love you sincerely,

 

Secrets