Sticks and stones may break my bones

Now. Long time no read. I am not even sure if anyone will check this. Anyways. As always, a prelude of some kind to introduce my blog postings.

I am overworked.
At the same time it is strangely comforting to think about all the possibilities that some pieces of paper and coined metal discs have to offer.

I want to see the sea again. I miss it so much. I want to stand at a beach, barefoot, inhale the breeze and just gaze upon the waterfront.
I want to be held. At least sometimes. Nothing sexual, really – just the comfort of another human being close to me.
I want to scream away my sadness, drink away my loneliness, forget about mortality, child birth, family and that strange little demon inside of me that apparently hates me.
I want to have a healthy sleep rhythm and _not_ feel bored by the sheer thought of normality. I want to be myself and somehow still cannot fully relate to that seemingly awesome person that some of my friends describe. I just can’t.

Loneliness creeps up on you. Yet somehow there’s a new pattern. That new pattern involves less sex. Not an ideal solution – but it cuts down the awful experiences too. So, maybe a good thing.

No. Not really. Also, given the POOR quality of porn around, I am living quite the chaste life at the moment.

When the demons ride me too hard, I flee my four walls and go out. It’s fun, sometimes, and on very relaxed evenings great things do happen, yes.

But I’d really like a big, over-dimensionally square body guard sometimes to keep the waves of idiots at bay that seem oh so interested in sharing their sweaty, alcohol-infused and insecure little pick-up lines with me. PLEASE, UNIVERSE!  Please.

I will get a corset this week. I am not able to eat chocolate pudding without thinking of quality sex, it’s not about that, and you know it, the self-loathing seems to be strong lately and in general nobody really has to get this sentence.

I am happy about good friends. Sometimes they are lifelines without even knowing it.

I miss the sea. But I said that already.

Please enjoy my randomness. It needed to be done.

Yours truly,

Secrets

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2 responses to “Sticks and stones may break my bones

  1. You are never truly alone. You of all people should know that 🙂

    Anyhow. Hope you don’t get pushed around at work too much and enjoy all the bling bling it gives you. Think of all the stuff you could waste money on if you had the time! Doesn’t that comfort you?
    (You could order a pocket watch. They are fancy. Or so I heard.)

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